Hirap na ako. Hirap na hirap. Hindi ko na alam gagawin ko. Pakiramdam ko ngayon napakasama kong asawa, wala akong kwenta. Magkalayo kami ngayon ng asawa ko. Andito ako sa Australia, siya nasa Pilipinas. Tatlong b'wan na kaming ganito, LDR (long-distance relationship). Actually, hindi ako sanay ng ganito kasi buong buhay ko sanay ako na andyan lang s'ya sa tabi ko. Sanay ako na isang tawag ko lang darating s'ya para sa akin. Fifteen years old ako noong naging magbf-gf kami. Ngayon twenty-two years old na ko. I've been with him for almost seven years. Yes, seven years. Pero magfifive months pa lang kaming kasal. Nothing has change para pa rin kaming magbf-gf. Actually, ako lang pala 'yung hindi nagbabago. He is now a real man, a family man. He is really preparing to be a good father and a good husband while I am being a total waste, a freak. Spoiled ako sa kanya. He is doing everything for me. I love being spoiled by him kasi ramdam na ramdam ko kung gaano n'ya ako kamahal.
He is a perfect husband unfortunately married to an imperfectly freak wife.
He is a rational person. He is perfect because he is not only bright, he also got the looks, yes, he is handsome. He is talented. He is an athlete. I think he got everything to be an ideal husband. He really values our relationship. He cares about me. He cares about our future. How about me? I don't get any looks. I am not bright. I might have some talents but nothing to be proud of. I was an athlete so many years ago. I am NOT an ideal wife. I am so ashamed. I should be. I am just making his life worse. I should be out of his life.
I may not be an ideal wife but I am doing everything to be a good wife. I know, my everything isn't enough. I am miserable. Now, I can't even answer the question, "Why did he marry you?". I don't know why. Maybe because he loves me? But why does he love me despite of my imperfections that really make him sick? I don't know! All I know now is that I love him so much. I want to be with him for life and that I am really sorry.
